Three Liner

A man went to a zoo…

The only animal there was a dog…

…it was a shitzu.

IMPORTANT NOTICE

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu.

If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever
2. Congestion
3. Nausea
4. Fatigue
5. Aching in the joints
6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone’s windshield.

Maths

A banker confused about maths, asks his secretary:

“If I give you 3 million less 17%, how much would you take off?

She replies: “Everything sir, the dress, bra and panty….”