Intuition

28 January 2005

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

2 litres of low fat milk,

a carton of eggs,

2 litres of orange juice,

a head of lettuce,

half a dozen tomatoes,

a 500g jar of coffee,

and a 250g pack of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk
standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated,
You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but
she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single.
She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly
unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her
marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re
absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied,
“Cause you’re ugly.”

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Re-evaluate Your Priorities

27 January 2005

Me mate Dave sent me this little story…

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.

“But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs…I have a full life.”

The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge enterprise.”

“How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the American.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?”

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta, and spend
our evenings drinking and enjoying your friends!”


Christian and Scott’s Interactive Top Ten List

22 January 2005

This is one of the best, and oldest humour sites on the web that I have been visiting every since I became a net enthusiast: CSITTL


POES Project

21 January 2005

You’d have to be South African to see the humour in NASA’s Polar Operational Environmental Satellite page.


Desktop Wallpapers

21 January 2005

InterfaceLIFT has a loads of interface enhancements for Mac OS X, Microsoft Windows, and Linux including desktop wallpaper, icons, themes. Very cool!


Almonds

13 January 2005

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder.

She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up. After approximately 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds.

She repeats this gesture about eight times. He asks her why they do not eat almonds themselves. Whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth. They are not able to chew them.

“Why do you buy them then?” he asks puzzled.

The old lady answers: “We just love the chocolate around them.”


Desktop Wallpapers

7 January 2005

InterfaceLIFT is one of my all time favorite sites for desktop backgrounds. It also has some nifty icon collections and themes.